Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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