They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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