Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
COCAINE IS GR8
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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