Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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