she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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