the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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