Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
