drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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