wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
