Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
