I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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