the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
