you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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