Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
