that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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