i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
