as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
