The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
