I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
