On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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