oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want to have your abortion
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
