If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
whose ass print is on the piano?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
