So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sext me about skeletons
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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