This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
