if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
