after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
