my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
