I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
