I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
