dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
