her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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