mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
