did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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