i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
