I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
