Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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