I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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