in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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