What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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