dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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