You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
