What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
