no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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