She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize