I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
