This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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