when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
