I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
