Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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