Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am one with the molecules
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
