I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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