OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
