$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
