Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
