The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
