when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
