Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
