were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
