ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
