...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
