I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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