ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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