you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
