THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
