You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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