The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
