Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
