for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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