i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
