Who wears a wallet chain?!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
