The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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