He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
