i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
