I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
