also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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