And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
