summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
