Having a random hookup so left but love u
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
