I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
