I can tuck mytits in my pants
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
